While I was watching FMA, a colony of ants attacked my cup of water. They are like all over my cup and I was only drinking plain water.
I killed all of them..followed the trail of ants and did a total massacre. My table feels clean again.
But after I killed all of them, I started to ponder...why did I kill them? It was because I found them totally disgusting in a colony..and its like ewww..
But then again, that doesn't really gave me the right to take their lives. Actually, those ants are not doing any damage to my house..not trying to hurt me..not scaring me..they are just trying to survive. They must be real thirsty..to come out searching for water when already so many of them were killed.
Its quite sad to know that I actually enjoyed killing them, although I hesitated before killing half a colony (the other half ran back to their nest) and then I started giving my prayers to those dead ants and hope that they don't blame me. Then I saw 2 or 3 survivors walking aimlessly..walking in weird patterns..maybe trying to locate their scent back home.. But I felt as though they were mourning for their lost ones. That stopped me from killing any further..
It this the simple theory of war? People just kill cause they find you 'disgusting and yucky'? And because they can't communicate and understand your predicament, they are able to kill relentlessly without remorse? If only I can talk to the ants. I will move them to a better place other then my table. (well its my sis's table actually)
I did a stupid thing. I got a new cup of water and dripped a few drops of them near their nest. They are happily drinking now.
Looking at them again....it gives me the urge to kill..cause they are really like increasing in numbers.. NoNO! I must prevent myself from being a monster, every living little thing deserves to live. I am not anyone's God.
I hope more ppl can understand this maybe lame but truthful fact about what we are..how we humans are actually so selfish and hypocritical. Those ppl talking big are always looking high up..and neglecting the very small but crucial fact about life.
Please wake up!!!
Man..my whole body is itching. Are the dead ants taking revenge? :(
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Playing badminton mixed doubles is SO hard. I am strangely the women's 2nd seed. Shit...
Sister got 2nd upper class honors!!! My sis is SO CLEVER!!! Her life..you can say its very smooth sailing..
She got a freaking 265 for her PSLE and became the top student in EPPS. Her name is still engraved on the "top PSLE student" board. "Hey, thats my sister's name! LOOK!" I used to do that..and it was very very shiok
She went to DUNMAN HIGH and according to her, she DIDN'T DO VERY WELL. She was a 10 pointer and she felt sad. She got posted to TJC with 6 pts(she took higher MT) and she felt REALLY SAD because she wanted to go VJC. So she appealed to VJC with her friend. Her friend's application was successful, but due to unknown reasons, she rejected the offer.. and because of that, my sis was given the chance to become a VJC student. BUT she didn't accept their offer either in the end..so she remained in TJC.
She was kinda sad in TJC. But soon, she realized that it was actually a very nice place. She started ACEing every subject and received the nickname 'the A student'. With hard work, determination, consistency and a good environment, she went on and received 3As, 1B and a B3 for GP in her A'Level. She was among the first few to be called up to the stage to receive her result slip with applauds and admiration from the student body. ME: "What is your source of determination?" SIS: "I all along thought that TJC wasn't such a good school, so I had the determination to be the top cause I knew that I was better then them." -_-|||
She was among the first to receive offers by both NTU and NUS. Which means that she was able to choose her university earlier then the others and was thus guaranteed a place in university. After a long and tough decision, she decided to choose NTU business. Her reasons: 1) Hostel offered. (in nus first years can't stay in hostels) 2) 3 year direct Honors. (nus 4 years) 3) Her friends are there 4) Ppl there not as clever as those in NUS, easier to be top(again...) 5) NTU is a better business sch
Anyway, she managed to excel again in her new campus. She was offered double specialization and now after 3 hard years, she got yet again 3As and 1B as her final result. Before she even got her results, she went through tough interviews and managed to clinch a job in Credit Suisse. Her starting pay is a freaking $3,200. She is starting work this Monday and I wish her all the best. (Woohoo~ I have a rich sister!)
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It is my grandfather's death anniversary today, so I need to go to my cousin's house in Hougang. Took bus 81 alone cause my sis was partying and my bro mugging (not willingly, tuition). The bus came and I boarded. Tapped my card and suddenly, the bus uncle called me. BU: " EY EY EY!! Xiao mei, guo lai rang wo check ni de bus pass. ME: "Huh? Ni yao check shen me? (While taking out my bus pass and walking towards him) BU: "Ni tap le wo men bus uncle xu yao check de" ME: "Orh." (my ass la, buff..where got need to check de? siao.. But I act guai and let him check) BU: (looking at my card) "Ni du shen me xue xiao?" ME: Huh? Oh, tampines junior. BU: "HUH???" ME: "tampines junior" BU: "HUH? shen me?" ME: "TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE" BU: "HUH!! JC AR???!!?!" ME: "Ya" (then he quickly passed me my card.)
Stupid pedophile. I ALWAYS kena this kind of shit.
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Studied with Jinbo from 12am to 2.30am yesterday..you can say it was today.GOSH so late! Of course, it was only 1hr+ productivity as we were talking most of the time. OMG JIN! You are tanned!! YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN FOR ONCE! I am never gonna study there anymore, so many bugs and so dirty. Airport better.
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My badminton juniors said I look better and younger with my hair tied. Pris said my hair looked nice with colour. ^^ But it was weird..in nas, ppl said I look better with my hair down and encouraged me not to tie my hair. Guess I really changed.
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I need to mug real soon. I want to finish econs this week..all the macro shit. Physics keep in touch! 214 points!! 56 more points!! I am so proud of myself!! Anyway, 06S20 is irritating.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
I just read this from frdster,
"Things are about to equalize in your life, so get ready to enjoy a healthier, more balanced period that will give you a sense of security and confidence. Real changes are coming in one of your relationships -- it looks as though someone is finally ready to take another step in the right direction. Are you ready to take this step, too? Balance is important, so if someone makes an effort, you need to make an equal effort. Demonstrate your fairness."
..looks as though someone is finally ready to take another step in the right direction. Are you ready to take this step, too? YES I AM READY!
Anyway, I keep having weird dreams.
Why weird? : 1) Damn vivid with colours 2) Follows a clear plot 3) Weird TPjcians appearing 4) YOU keep appearing 5) Clear images of faces of ppl I don't know at all 6) Some plot continues after many days 7) Evokes emotions
Some dreams I woke up from makes me cry uncontrollably, others make me scared. Like I had to kill lots of ppl..and I have to kill my friend's friend. Which is VERY WEIRD cause I am NOT CLOSE TO HER AT ALL...it makes me think... and she took 6 bullets to kill. Sometimes I can't even separate dreams from reality..
The only dream that woke me up from fright was this FREAKING scary dream I had when I was a kid. I can still rem everything that happened..and the freaky thing was, I had the exact same dream of that freaky dream after like a few years. The only difference was that I knew what to do in the 2nd dream, and sort of managed to kill the monster. But I still woke up with fright and was sweating all over.
I learned this from Honey and Clover. When you see the ppl you know in your dreams, its either that person entered your dream or you entered that person's. Well, of course you may just be dreaming gibberish haha
