Feeling a weird sense of dissonance now. I'm already shit for letting you take my Fridays and yet you are eating into my Saturday?
I'm in the conflicting zone now where I like the surroundings but I hate the nil satisfaction. There is nothing left for me to taste. It has all turn bland.
I wanted to believe that we can all go far together. But it seems that we may just be more appropriate moving at our own pace. True, we all have our directions in life and someday or another we will hit the crossroad. I need a stride that creates followers.
I need a movement.
I paid my respects in my heart. My passivity induces reliance on others, which undermines my own independence. I'm nothing but a weak person and yet I choose to believe that I'm stronger than average.
The hope within me may be spelling my own ugly death. But to lay hope away is courting death.
I'm at a loss...yet again.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
What is lost is lost.
You have lost and I have lost you.
I've lost and I'm lost.
Suddenly, the word lost has lost its meaning.
I've lost the words.All the words are lost!
And i've lost!!
Friday, March 06, 2015
My pet hamster Kimchi died yesterday (4 March 2015), hopefully a painless one. He was still moving in the morning when I saw him and when I came back from work he has already bid farewell. He died in his nest with his sleeping face facing near the door, as if telling us he is gone and saying his farewell. My mom thinks she heard him squeak in the afternoon but she is not sure. Maybe she did heard him say goodbye after all. Work up early in the morning and gave him a burial in the park near the sea. Hopefully it's deep enough to keep the elements away. I hope I have given him a nice comfy life, although many a times I have left his cage dirty due to my laziness. 2 years or so has passed and I have seen him grow from being less than a quarter of my palm to almost the full size. Then seeing him shrinking back again to his small frame when age has caught up with him. Seeing how he wobbled when climbing the stairs, see him trying to climb up the wheel and failed with a tumble, seeing how he is eating less and less and how he has no more strength to hold his food...
Rest in peace, you have given me a warmer life during your short stay. Farewell my little friend.
