Saturday, November 21, 2009
Just had a sudden urge to blog.Look! It's 3AM plus in the morning and I am still awake.Still waiting for my workaholic sister to come home, I wonder why she is still coming home so late nowadays when her department has already shifted to India.I wonder WHY I am waiting for her, guess I am just giving myself a reason not to sleep.Using my brother's laptop now. He is behind me dead asleep. I hate it when he just goes to sleep and conveniently left his laptop on. How can one be SO tired as to not off the computer??? I have to come over to his room and off it for him. This is sooo irritating.He has a even more irritating trait. He can sleep with his toothbrush in his FREAKING MOUTH, with TOOTHPASTE. Amazing huh. Once that happened and my father was shocked cause he thought my brother was foaming.Oh, my brother is suddenly tossing around and uttering weird noises. Guess he sensed someone badmouthing him. The subconscious mind is indeed powerful.Violin is hard. I still have a hard time holding the bow and clenching the violin with my chin. Maybe my mother is right, I have no musical talent at all. :(Omg, I just realised that the bone on my left chin hurts when pressed. Ouch!!I try very hard to absorb whatever I can every lesson so that I can impart the knowledge to my more musically talented sister. I hope to make full use of the $550 paid.I still want to learn piano and guitar. Drums are interesting too, but I think it will take me a long long long time to actually be at ease with those instruments. I want the feeling to come naturally and not memorised. Thinking about naturally, my JLPT4 exam is coming soon. First Sunday of December, 6 dec 09.I have been avoiding it for months, and now there is less then a month for me to study. I really hope I don't fail cause level 4 is really not that hard. Next year, I will be continuing my studies with Ikoma. Should I take full time or part time? Actually I have time to go full time, cause my lessons usually ends at 11.30am. But I think it would be pretty hard to balance my school work..with me now not even managing 35 study hours a week. I have been slacking real hard this week. I just feel SO lethargic.This is so frustrating!!!! ARGHG!! I need to WAKE UP seriously. I need to spend 11 hours of study for both sat and sun. This is so impossible. SHIT.And just thinking about banking makes me depressed. I am so lagging behind. There are so many things to memorise and everything just seem so dead to me. It sort of makes me regret taking banking and finance. The economic world is so dead. There is not a spark of life in it, everything is just made up, the layers of management will kill me. I rather study history and I rather do GP essays. I feel like teaching GP...HAHA. Ok, no joke. I love GP!! And I strongly believe if someone like me can score for GP, then anyone else can too. It is just a matter of flow and structure. RJC model essays are crap, cause they are too good. They are so good they make you depressed, which is no good and thus they are crap. OMG it's 4am!! Where is my sister???!!! Just checked my phone.Sister: "I tink v sleep. Haha. I tryin to clear breaks."Gosh. Clearing breaks in the middle of the night. WORKAHOLIC!!V....U are the one that needs sleep!Btw, I didn't get to see the Leonid meteor shower. I went to the Pasir ris beach at 3am with my sister and dad. My dad was the unwilling party, he said it was unsafe and accompanied us. My reliable brother was supposed to come with us but he slept like a pig. I got sucked big time by mosquitoes and we went home after an hour of walking around. Wanted to stay till 5am but I think my father needed his sleep. Heard from my friends the next day that the sighting was most frequent at about 4am plus and felt so cheated. Nvm, I will get to see it next year. Since the meteor showers comes yearly.Sooo sleepy. Night.Alarm clock at TEN in the morning. I better wake up on time.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Traveling without music is a torture. Especially taking 154 from my school all the way to Eunos.I miss my music! :(I think I shall go get another MP3 end of this month from the IT fair.Actually, I don't like IT fairs cause it is VERY crowded. And you know how tall I am right, or rather how short I am..so it's damm irritating when other people keep elbowing your face/chest. My HP is crazy too, always low in battery. Oh man, I just received a message. Notification that our school is facing SP, NYP and NUS in next Jan's table tennis competition. I can't decide if I want to join the team or not.Table tennis to me is like a complicated relationship. I love table tennis, cause it was the only thing people recognized me for and the only thing that I was actually good in. But after being traumatized by that match last year, I am unable to believe in myself again. I don't ever want to have that feeling again, its like your body is not yours and every action I execute is totally wrong. My arms are in an awkward position and I felt so frustrated at myself. I was actually trembling with fear every second and this never happened before.Oh the other hand, I miss being on court..all the excitement, fear and the victory.....TPJC really wrecked my life. Once again, I shall say it. I HATE TPJC'S SPORTS CULTURE.I don't actually hate that school, it just happened to be the place where all my bad memories and experiences gather. I can't seem to smile when I see that school.I have been playing table tennis since I was in P2..a long enough relationship. I think it's time for me to let it go. Make a clean cut once and for all.
It kinda hurts, cause I still have my pride as a player.
But it is time to let that pride go.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Yeah finally, 2 weeks without internet is making me primitive. Not that I mind, but it IS really kinda weird have internet again all of a sudden.Many things happened during the course of my absence.Wow, I was just wondering why blog looks different..it was just code error and it just reloaded back to the original screen.Anyway, I join a club! :)I have never thought that I would be doing...violin..it just happened.I hope it goes well..first lesson is tml.Hope I don't get lost.Just downloaded the new MSN. Well, it's not exactly new just that it is NEW to me. I always hated the idea of upgrades..for fear of having all my precious contacts disappearing and new applications appearing.Went NTU to collect my rejected portfolio.I want to burn it, not that I am so embarrassed of my own artwork..but it just feels like its the only way. Like if I burn it, my life can continue from that full stop. Met kwan and we ate, she packed and we collected the portfolio. Went simei after that and I saw ALL THE CUTE PUPPIES. I especially adore that toy poodle pup...oh mah!! SOOO freaking CUTE. Every time I return home from sch, I always have the urge to drop at simei just so I can look at the animals. Looking at them always make me happy.. :) I sooo want to have a dog. A cat will be good too.I am not going overseas this year! All because my brother finds that THAILAND is boring. ARGH.But my parents needed their honeymoon too I guess and this will be the first time without parents for me. Kinda weird huh, being already 20 and all...well my mom still thinks I am 12...I think. It will be a new experience, I will so totally love the daily plans of good food and this will be one of the rare times where I get to spend Christmas in Singapore. AND I will finally be able to collect my Christmas drops from neopets and rs.Strangely, I am not feeling all happy but I am not feeling sad too. I am not feeling happy but I am not sad. Is there even a difference??Oh man, why am I so hungry now?!
