It never cease to amaze me, how ridiculous my dad can be sometimes.
I'm trying to talk sense, trying to let you see the other side but he never does.

To see him become such a failure, I wished for him to become a much happier person and persuaded him to get and seek what he wants in life. However, in the end, it bounced back to me again. It's just, really disheartening and somehow amazing that the growth and awareness can just dissipate in a blink of an eye.

Which goes back to humanity once again, that we become who we really are when the situation is back to the same. When the same conditions of the environment are back, the soul responds. It all gets repeated again. Only when you attempt to change, and then change you can get.

Apparently, most people don't change because they just see fit whichever is the best fit for the situation. Never really having a revelation nor the diligence to go through the change. It's just so sickening to me. And in time, I refuse to spend additional effort nor time on them. Some people are just not worth the time. You don't have to be kind by helping them, there is much worthier kindness that you can give the world.

I shall not be like this and I shall not be affected. I must smile more, take it in and let it go cause they don't matter at all right? Live a life of my own and they can live theirs.

I don't cross your rule, you don't cross mine. Neither is yours or mine right or wrong, just a different approach to life. But, somehow it's not really fair. The more I know, the sadder I get and the problem peoples are just ignorant and contented. They don't see and they don't know that it exist, so they are contented. They only see what they want to see and just live their life in happiness. 

Why does it look so bleak? An enriching life should be with depth and with depth comes the awareness, and then happiness. Why is ignorance a bliss?

That's it, life IS unfair.
And I'm not going to be a sitting duck. If it bends I will bend it the other way.
But to do that, you must be exponential and have overwhelming strength in a certain area. And not just talent, you have to have people acknowledging with genuine thought that you are indeed capable.

So in other words, talent is not talent unless acknowledged. Meaning our talents are there to convince and not performed. It's just for show because if you can convince people that you are talented, then you become talented. But why should we convince another person? Why should we take our time to prove that we are good? In all sense, all the time is wasted on proving and so much less is available for actually using our talents.

This is getting nowhere. That's it, I shall do something constructive and have a stronger mind with that. Goes back to the same: practice, patience and persistence. PEACE.

There are some dreams that we can't let go off.
I cried like a baby when I told myself to give up.

It's particularly disheartening when the tears are for myself. I wonder if that is better or worse, when nobody knows you are crying.

Still, I dream and I hope.

Constantly, I remind myself to work hard.
Action may not tally my words, but I'm trying my best.

Pray and hope and try.