Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Just suddenly felt like blogging.
Had much appreciation for the world now when my mind is clearer. You've grown out of the stage where you wanted attention, wanted people to recognize who you are and what you're capable of.
You wanted so much to prove, wanted so much to be rewarded and it just falls flat on your face.
Realities of life, to acknowledge that means to have a sharper view of the world? Or a duller one?
I would much prefer to keep un-realistic world views, because that is so much more vivid. If your life is lived without colors, then what is to be of it?
Growing older means one thing, to take it in stride. Take it in stride all the remarks, all the passive body languages, all the narrow eyes and with that learn to give even more. Become even more supportive and even more passionate with your own core values. Once again, please never lose sight of what is truly important.
I'm right at a stage where it's starting to turn. Turning out to have more awareness of who I'm, what I'm good in and what I'm not. At the stage where I had to run even more miles and go further into the distance.
But something is tugging me. I feel disturbed and I'm troubled. A side of me understands it and acknowledges it but...for once, my heart and my mind is not functioning as one. I'm balancing my thoughts through the day, maintain a passive bubbly response, acting like I'm still the same. But it's not, I feel my heart aching. I feel my heart beating at night before I fall asleep. At times I smile thinking about it, thinking that hey it's just like that isn't it? It's not so bad! Hey buddy it's alright! You on the right course, just continue what you're doing and you will reach your goal in no time.
I'm in love...
and also falling out of it.
