Came home at about 10 due to work. I cycled to work! :) and I cycled back!
Where am I working? Heh, secret. LOL But its a place with LOTS of kids and I get to sit there watching them play while I do nothing and earn money. Occasionally, the kids will ask me to play with them. I don't know why but I feel stress playing with them. Playing with a kid is like playing with outer space. I seriously do not know what kind of stuff they like and when I talk to them, I feel stupid. Not that I think the kids are stupid, it is just like omg, what am I doing??!! What the hell did I just asked??!! I have a serious problem - I do not know how to respond to kids.
Oh ya, AMERICAN IDOL. This season is not as exciting as the previous season but it is the most interesting season because ADAM LAMBERT is there. I mean seriously, it is so clear that he is gonna win it. He has the looks and on top of that he is a fabulous singer. Who cares if he is gay or not, he can sing and he looks good. Perfect. He makes the other contestants look soooo bland in contrast. I totally love how he sings and performs. :)
I got a feeling danny and adam will be in the finals.
I am freaking working full shift tomorrow. ARGH! I should have just lied to them.. I SHOULD HAVE JUST LIED! argh. 9.30am to 10pm of hell.
I ONLY WANT TO WORK 3 DAYS A WEEK!! :(
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
LOOK at the time! 3am! gosh ahhaha I am waiting for my sis to come back from work. Should be about time..
Anyway I am now kinda "troubled" after doing that stupid facebook quiz.. Nah, its NOT mine fb account. I refuse to have one and I don't know why, so don't ask me.
"You will get married at age 45!"
Makes me wonder...and they are being nice to me, saying that at least I will find true love. AHHA CRAPPPP!!
And my sis told my parents!! She is sneaky. tsk tsk.
I seriously can't imagine myself being married to anybody, but to tell me that I will get married at 45 is still a bit depressing. sobs sobs.
Maybe I should do the quiz again. TSK! AND its not all that accurate. There are some questions that I don't have an answer for. Like how many times have you went out on a date..I mean, I NEVER had a date before. Ok wait, its not that nobody asked me out. heh but I don't like being out on a date. It's stressful to me. Very stressful.
Cause when a guy ask you out. They are obviously checking you out..and what if after that date they don't ask me out again? It means that I failed their expectations right? It IS stressful being checked out.
Anyway there are other qns like - what kind of person would you date. I chose someone I love alot. And you know what, if you ask me what love is..I can't answer. Cause I seriously doubt myself sometimes...I think I have never been in love before. I have no met someone that actually makes me REALLY REALLY want to be with..its like ok, nice face. ya. thats IT.
Hrum..someone that I like..hrum..the person I can think of now is ***..
......
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I went for job interview today. PAISEH!!!! I want to tunnel a HOLE!!
Anyway, I restarted watching 1 litre of tears..I stopped at episode 6 last time and I restarted watching it all over. I am at ep 8 right now.. MY EYES ARE SWOLLEN MY HEAD HURTS from excessive crying.
SOBS SOBS SOBS
I need to rest. will continue watching tomorrow.
sobs sobs sobs sobs
Friday, April 03, 2009
I am feeling weird again. Like..there is not enough time.
Not enough time for? I don't even know. I just know that if I don't grab it now, I will never be able to. But what?
What am I on this Earth for? What is the purpose of my existence? Sometimes I wonder, maybe everyone is fake...not fake in the sense that they are not there...how do I describe...?? Its like its really weird being alive. I don't feel that I am myself sometimes.. Don't you feel it too? Like why are we able to see. Why are we able to feel. Its really amazing in a way..but scary too. And what happens when my life ends? What can I take with me?
My memories are getting blurry. I think I am blocking too much of it. I am living in my own world now, hah..not in an emotional way.. but a pathetic one.
I guess I am just really afraid that everything is gonna collapse. All the thoughts of a bright future.
Everything...I refuse. Please God. I just need one more chance.
