Spongecakes.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Ok, I am finally ready to blog about all the pain and everything that happened during the A levels. My index- 0644. Nice... :(
And surprisingly, my GC recovered a few days b4 the exam. No more wire but I still kept it in my pencil box..just in case.

Oct 30- H1 phy p2 (SR4)
Went Bugis and pray the day b4..hoping that the Goddess of Mercy will help me pull through. Bijun and Swan came along too..and it so happens that it was the goddess's birthday so we got extra blessings (we asked the guy to help us chop the good luck seal on the underside of our collar). I felt really blessed and full of hope..seriously! And we decided to wear the same uniform for our phy paper the next day. We went into the room at 2.50. I was sitting right at the back and was RIGHT under the blowing air-con which froze my fingers and made it hard for me to press the numbers on my GC. While waiting for the paper to start..I was telling myself that it was just a H1 paper. Dont worry..dont worry..you can do it! You did the jc papers..you can do it! "you may start the paper".. OMG I read the first question and it was like..what? omg newton 2nd law? shit i forgot to study the 3 laws! freak!! bye bye 1 mark. next question..what?? omgomg!!!!!! I wrote something and skipped to the next qn..I was seriously stressed. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and told myself that I can do it. The subsequent questions were alright..until i reached the last 3 choose 2 qn..I chose the first and the last qn cause I HATE electricity. BUT THERE WAS THIS WEIRD THING CALLED ELECTRIC FIELD that came out..Hey I thought that was out of syllabus?? SHIT them. And the Quantum that I loved was so hard that I couldnt prove..omg and I had no freaking time to change qn. It was really depressing. I came home with all my hopes gone. Cried and told my parents I couldn't go on anymore. Scolded my father for forcing me to go JC. But friends like Pearlin and Swan comforted me. I pulled myself together and mugged for english paper the next day.

Oct 31- GP paper 1&2 (J209)
Paper 1 was ok. I did the last question.."the word failure should not be used in education. dicuss" Mass media didnt really come out! I was hoping I can get something like how far has the mass media influenced us..cause I memorized the whole 39/50 model essay from my sister's TJC bulletin. But I also memorized this 35/50 essay which was on how important success is. I used the ideas from this essay and converted it to my essay. I think it was ok..I used proverb and some bombastic words..should be ok right? but I didnt write very long..I cant rem...but it was not more then 3 pieces of paper. Paper 2 was ok too..the first time in my life I completed the AQ. But there is one thing that worries me..I said that the 377A law is for gay marriages. OMG. but it was just a small part..hope the marker doesnt know about the law. Felt hopeful again..

Nov 2- H2 maths paper 1 (SR3)
Omg. My worst paper ever. 2 questions each from complex and vectors????? I couldnt do the 2 complex because I didnt even study..yes u can call me an idiot but I was seriously stressed out. Vectors..I only managed to study until 2 planes...but I still couldnt do the stupid qn. I was surprisingly able to manage the first vector question...but still..I think my maths paper 1 is SCREWED. SERIOUSLY. I was already doing my last question after an hour. SEE how fast I was skipping?? Looked at all the ppl busily scribbling things onto their paper depresses me..I felt like crying..but cant. Forced myself to squeeze anything out of my brain..die die must write something. In the end I still ended up not doing 4 questions. So yes ppl you can laugh all you want..somehow..writing this down makes me sad again. I must suppress my sadness..no more of this is ever coming to me again.

Nov 5- H2 Chem paper 3 (SR3)
The after effect from maths was still lingering within me. I was telling myself that if p3 was going to be real hard, I wont feel sad again. I will LAUGH instead on my poor luck. I mugged real hard for chem..doing the yellow book and memorizing the answers. I think the paper was not as bad as prelims..where I just gave up. It guess it was ok...

Nov 6- H2 maths paper 2 (SR3)
Stats..my favorite. This is the best maths paper out of all my JC life. I left one qn blank, the one on series and seq. Sorry..however hard I try to master that topic..I still couldn't do it. It just makes no sense to me at all. Went Gelarie after that..because we had 6 free days till our next paper. The waffle was heavenly.

Nov 13- H2 chem paper 2 (SR3) and H2 econs paper 2 (hall)
This was a tough day for all the h2 econs people. We had to stay back in school after chem for our econs p2, which was a write-3-essay in 2hr15mins paper. Chem was ok i guess..wasnt that hard. I had some careless mistakes here and there but nothing will impact me that much from maths p1. So every other paper seemed manageable..because I got such a great shock from maths. Econs was ok too..I like econs and the BOP current account deficits question came out!! I was forcing myself to master the BOP things the day before and I memorized the model BOP deficit causes and problems essay. It was so great writing that question and I am now a master of Balance of payments. Surprisingly, I did 2 macro and 1 micro. I hated macro and was 100% sure I would be doing 2 micro questions..alas, nothing is 100%. The micro question were hard..and I didnt finish writing my macro qn 4 part b did only half..ok wait..what qn did I do? I know I did qn 1 the BOP qn and the omg ok I forgot the qn. Forget it..

Nov 14- H2 Econs paper 1(J210)
I think the paper was ok. I wrote bloody long for the BOP 8 mark qn..like 2 full pages. Rem? I am BOP pro what..haha! Anyway the paper was rather nice to us...but you never know..case studies never fails to shock us or rather me. The teacher gave us extra time like 8 mins..I think he miscalculated cause he started about 5 mins early. His hp also rang during the paper..swan was telling us that he even fell asleep when we were doing our papers. He ALSO wrote on the board that it was 3hr for our paper while the actual timing was 2hr15min. Woots! Imagine 45 mins extra..but one very honest S28 guy told the teacher the correct timing. So we still had the very little 2hr15mins for TWO full case studies.

Nov 16- H2 chem paper 1 (SR3)
I think it was hard. I didnt know what I was doing most of the time. :(
But my depression was long over. No other papers can depress me as must as maths paper 1. NOTHING! At this point, I already felt NUMB. Very numb...there was no more emotions..sad?nope angry? nope happy? of course not. Just numb..a weird tinge of numbness...

Nov 20- H1 phy paper 1
I felt the most confident for this paper. Cause I did like almost all the JC's prelim papers. I had 10 minutes left to check but I am still not confident..numb again. Like nothing good is gonna happen. Anyway it was the last paper..my heart was already set to the 'free' mode. And straight after the paper we wanted to go shopping. But we had to wait for miss devi for our graduation testimonials. I didnt really finish reading..cause I know miss devi will surely write good things about us. I think she was very kind towards us in our testimonials..it was too nice for me to finish reading. Lol cause I don't think it was describing me..too nice. Oh ya! And I LOOKED FOR MY PRECIOUS alevels papers. I found my chem, econs and maths. I couldn't find my GP!! I took a substitute instead..ok it just so happens that I found that bad apple's paper and I wanted to give it to someone. But in the end, I just decided to keep it. Couldn't find flower's paper HAHA so sad. Anna couldn't find her flower's too. ok..after that my father drove me kwan swan anna and bijun to bedok interchange and we travelled to erm somewhere and ate at fisherman's wharf. Bass tasted so nice..and then we shopped. Swan tried on 2 dresses and it didnt look good. None of the others tried on any clothings...we were too tired and shy to try on. It was a fruitless day of shopping.

Nov 21- Tanning at kwan's house and movie marathon at bijun's house
Oh there was no sun...and I woke up late. Still, I went kwan's house and watched sexy swan swim with her very nice swimming costume. Went bi's house and we watched high sch musical2, king kong and Simpson movie. Simpson so borin..stopped after 20min and played with the dogs instead. Ash POUNCED ON ME! my god so scary.

Nov 22- SHOPPING IN ORCHARD
OMG it was so fun!! we went heeren and swan tried on this sexy red dress. It was only 50 bucks but we wanted to see more so we went to other shops. Swan also tried on another sexy red dress at mango..but it was over $100. We wanted to shop more at heeren but bi wanted to go far east. So we walked all the way to far east and shopped. Tired on many sets of clothings..but no urge to buy any yet. In the end, we bought nothing. Oh and I bought my hair dye at $8.90 from watsons.

Nov 23- TODAY! shopping again!
Shopped with anna and swan at vivo today. I bought my dress!!!! Bought it at valarie for $69.90
White and fluffy..and they think it looked quite nice on me. I hope it really look nice and not just because of the lightings in the shop. Swan also bought her dress at $50 from far east, black and gold. Anna bought a purple dress..she wants to be Barney. I bought a office white top for $29.90 and 2 other casual top for 9.90 each from Nichii. Bought 3 pair of earrings toof from white sands. Spent a total of $128.90 today. WOOTS! shopping rocks. Father gave me another $100 to spend..but it feels very wrong. I need work and pay them back. Got an interview on Monday in raffles place..when should I start work? In 23 dec I am going to HK for 1 week. When can I start work? Damm...take no-pay leave? argh..later they fire me. how?? how??

I still need to buy heels, sunglasses, necklace, earrings, new hp, shorts, tops, contacts..
Think I will scrape the piano..too expensive and I think my interest won't last. Forget about the piano..
I need more money!! WHERE IS MY 5 MILLION??LET ME WIN MONEY FROM TOTO!!

A new chapter. The moon is so beautiful!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

3 more papers and I will be free!!

But I guess I will only be free physically..I wont be able to enjoy with all the negative thoughts of being a failure.
I wish to and not at the same time to know my results.
I think I screwed up my maths.
The bell curve will still give me low grades.
How can I compete with ppl from the alienated world?
Become a J3 next year?? :((((
I want to buy a piano and many other things.
I want MY FIVE MILLION.
I want a good job..$9/hour??
I want to play stocks. :) with my father's money.
I cant wait for prom, all the shopping and hongkong.
Oh & Genting trip with the gang too..

A memory I will keep..no matter how hard or sad. Life goes on, so smile :D