Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Just changed all the strings on my guitar.
Took me only 2 bloody hours.
I don't know why but it sounds different and I have no idea where is the problem.
Wrong resting method?
New string sounds different from old string?
Tuner malfunction?
Damn.
When can I ever restring my guitar with confidence? :(
Monday, February 20, 2012
OMG I CAN'T FOCUS ON MY STUDIES!
Dragged myself out of bed today. Didn't feel well at all but still I went to school. Brain was confounded with jam songs, it was rather irritating to the point that I had to clear my head with YUI songs. Looks like I'm slowly being a fan girl.
Seriously I need to work hard for studies right now but my brain was buzzing with many irritating thoughts. Was still feeling extremely irritated with my own performance yesterday. It gave me a very cold feeling, freezing my heart and giving me the impression that I'm not made for this at all. It drenched my ambition and gave me doubts again.
But well, like I've said, one just can't stop. Once you stop it will be all over and I don't want it to be over! I don't want to give up my chances like I've did in the past. I won't cower in fear any more! Hated that feeling!
Remember the day that you didn't have courage to step into the sportshall?
Remember the day of your last match?
Remember those days that you were crazily painting?
All of those things brought me here today and I just can't stop.
I can't stop.
This may be thing that can kill me, but I can't stop.
But don't ever ever forget the fun.
Till the day fate steers me to another path, I'll keep moving.
Sometimes my own optimism amazes me.
It's good to be thick-skinned. :D
OMG I SHOULD BE STUDYING NOWWWWW OMG!!!!!
Oh btw, HSBC LPGA is coming soon! Can't wait to watch!!
My mp3 crashed.
It seems like my music world is crashing too.
There is an urgent need for me to improve but I'm not sure what to do or what I'm doing now is in the correct direction. I'm rather confused right now.
There is a decision to be made soon and I don't know if I should continue with it. I wonder if continuing will be of any use to me. I don't want to throw my money and time away.
Argh, I think I should not go for it after all. I have a strange feeling I'll throw my money and time away.
Remember the TRI-FORCE? S.G.J! Don't forget it.
I'll do the S myself and GJ will require outside help. Both will require much of my time and effort, not forgetting much money too. Ah, can't wait for my life to clear out and be removed of all the weeds so that I can focus on my loves.
Ever since joining SB, I've been feeling rather tight spiritually. I'm really kinda afraid that I can't step up to the game. But it's not something that I can just give up! I feel lethargic but I must move on and nobody can help me unless I help myself.
It all boils down to my own ears, my own listening.
I guess I'm just afraid that I'm getting nowhere, because the scary thing about this is that you don't know where you stand. You may have improved, but you don't know about it. If only there is a gauge, a level I can see. Damn, I need a guide.
Ahh...I kinda miss those days where I didn't have a dream.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Damn, it's really hard but I find my own voice hard to love.
Others can say it sounds nice, but I can never shrug off the feeling that they are just being nice to me.
It's equally weird listening to my recorded voice.
I want to be a guitarist.
Really bad.
I want to be a painter too.
But cleaning up is really troublesome.
EDAGBE!
When will I reach above average?
When will I be good enough for a Fender?
Monday, February 13, 2012
Why do I feel that the more I try the further it gets?
Why?
Because it is unrealistic?
Or that I can't imagine myself in that position?
And why are my hands feeling cold whenever I think about it?
I guess I have no choice but to move on.
One day my hands will stop feeling cold.
