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Friday, February 15, 2013

I'm not given this life to do nothing.
Trials and tribulations. 
I OBJECT!

Everything that I am is failing except for my spirit.
Love or hate? Which should I choose?

This may be a trial for me to become a better and stronger person.
But at times I think it may be out to kill me.

You can take my body. But you cannot take my spirit.
And when I have my spirit, I will take my body back.

"Because life is long isn't it?"
Yes, for you, life is definitely long, because you are on the top of the mountain.
When will I ever be able to reach you?...And maybe push you off the cliff?
Nah..I guess I love you too much to do that. 
I will fall off the cliff even before I reach where you are.
But if I'm within reach of you and I'm about to fall, for sure I will pull you down with me.
That is how deep my love is.

I think I will forever have a wrong perception of love.

When will I be able to embrace everything that I'm not?
And when will I be able to get back who I once was?

I feel strangely alienated. I seem to lose interest in casual conversations. 
My internal battles are too intense, because it's now or never.
There is no time to spare a thought for others.


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Woots Happy Snake year!

I've survived both days and is happily enjoying my free time now.
Poor sis has to work, how shitty is that!

Had this strong urge to spam all my time on the computer today.
I think I'm really a very old school person. I always wonder why most embrace new things without much thought. Maybe there is nothing to think about too and that I'm thinking too much.

Sometimes when I talk to people, I wonder why they don't think such things. They are so carefree in their thoughts, and I'm so plagued with buzzing in my head. 
24/7, I do nothing but think and think. I think of what to do next day, I think of how others would react if I do a certain thing, I re-think what people said and their actions, I think about my past, I think about what my future would be like, I think up of different situations that I will be in and how I would react....I think and I think.

All these thoughts made me a little crazy sometimes, maybe that is why my dreams are always so weird and clear. It's as if the dreams learnt that a story has to have introduction, content and conclusion. However, all these thought kept me alive too. Daydreaming saved my life countless times and I gained this wonderful ability during my JC days. My skills has greatly evolved now, I can daydream and still do what is required of me. No stall time, both physically and mentally!

Oh no, I fear that Runescape is changing too much. I'm a little hesitant when playing it now. How many years have I been playing this game? 8 Years? Yeah, time flies. I will not want to give this game up, so I will persist. 
Why is it loading so slow!? 
I've already written half an essay! Sheesh!