Last year I really pushed myself. I was trying to be a better version of myself. There was hardly any spare time for myself, it was just lessons after lessons. Training after trainings.

And I was NOT happy at all. It was not satisfying and it was not like, oh all the hard work was worth it. It's not. There was no feeling of victory, it just was disappointment after disappointment. And I was starting to feel like I was not myself anymore. It was just depressing.

BUT this year, it will be different. 

I gave myself no goals to chase this year. There is no need to be a better version of myself. To think that I wanted to be the best version, it just means that I think that there was something unsatisfactory in the current self. There is nothing wrong with me being who I am now so there is no reason to become a "better" version. There is and will never be a better version. I am who I am, now.

Well, that is not to say that I just don't care about anything and let myself go. Obviously not. It just means that I prioritize myself on being happy instead of forcing myself to do things that I never had any interest nor enjoy. This year will be a year of following my heart. If I don't feel like going or doing something - I will not.

Yes and this is evidently working. Because ever since the new year hits, I have been feeling nothing but happiness. I have so much free time to myself these days just spending on whatever I feel like doing. Been watching a number of dramas and also starting to game. I remember being very excited when I was young when I was playing games, where did the excitement go to? I want to find the lost excitement. All the things that I enjoy, I am going to do it. Life it really short. Please enjoy it.

Another thought was in my mind. That intelligence is an illness. We are unhappy because we have become intelligent. So the secret to happiness, is being stupid. Remove your intelligence and you will become happy. When you are intelligent, you naturally have a higher pride. And with a higher pride, the rest of the sins follow. Well, pride is the father of all sins.

Remove your intelligence. Happiness will come.