Yesterday I had a revelation, I figured out a reason why I was brought to Fukuoka. I was meant to die here. Not death in itself, but death of my old self. The self that I was so comfortable with, the self that I took years to mold. The old self that I keep going back again and again out of habit. 

It is hard to kill yourself. I feel pain all over. Slowly tearing away the old deep seated roots and bleeding all over. Bleeding over and over again until the last root is extracted.

I am not sure how far or how many more roots I need to pluck. It is so easy to fall back into the continuous habit. 

I need to die, fast.