i just reached home from my tt traning. i am totally depressed now.. i lost my passion in tt..i just cant get any enjoyment from training..table tennis has always been with me..i miss my team mates in nas. last yr was the best..won 2nd in east zone n top 8 in nationals..beat gan eng seng.. =)..everyone worked so hard...i love those days back then.
i loved going for training...but now i hate it..i dont hate the ppl there...i just..i dono y i just cant enjoy..maybe its the teacher..cause i dont like him..n i have no frds there..exp for jy..n the team is really not strong at all...i just cant lift my sprits up..no coach to train them..tp's table tennis will forever remain weak. nth to look forward to during comeptition...it is a sure lose situation...the players there are really weak....i am not saying i am very gd or something..but argh!!they just cant make it..i can trash them so easily...it is not their weakness that i loathe..i can see they are working hard..but something is lacking....maybe because i haf always been in a respectable team.. i just dono y i am so sad there..
kept thinking bot my frds...i felt so lonely in sch..i just cant bond with ppl...i am not a very sociable person..i dont initiate talks...i cant get out of my shell in class..haik..ppl just dont understand me..i dont feel comfortable in my class..
nearly cried on my way back home.. but it is so hard to control the tears..so i just let it all out after alighting from the bus. reached home n both my parents opened the door...mum asked me what happened...n they tot i had an argument with my table tennis teacher in charge..cause i complained bot him to my parents b4. but NOOO...i didnt even talk to him today..he will never hire a coach..he will haunt tp's tt team forever..he is a curse. then my stupid father started talking his rubbish again..saying that i am what n what..cant stand his tone...my parents dont understand me at all...no one understands me..i have to comfort myself everytime..i cant tell them my worries..i cant tell them anything..thats y i will avoid letting them see me cry.
i feel so shitified..is tp making my life that bored n depressed?? should i love what i am in rather then love what i like? ? should haf went mj..stupid teacher called me so late..tt teachers in charge are all weidos. btw today's oratorical? contest was great...tp's best event so far...
next mon having competition..sian..sure lose..the only thing i am looking forward to is seeing pearlin again.. :P ..pearlin my best frd....ey pearlin are u readin this? i want to tell u that u are my best frd n hope that our frdship will be forever.. :) thanks for being my frd n making my life in nas great! love u~ haha
