Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Traveling without music is a torture. Especially taking 154 from my school all the way to Eunos.I miss my music! :(I think I shall go get another MP3 end of this month from the IT fair.Actually, I don't like IT fairs cause it is VERY crowded. And you know how tall I am right, or rather how short I am..so it's damm irritating when other people keep elbowing your face/chest. My HP is crazy too, always low in battery. Oh man, I just received a message. Notification that our school is facing SP, NYP and NUS in next Jan's table tennis competition. I can't decide if I want to join the team or not.Table tennis to me is like a complicated relationship. I love table tennis, cause it was the only thing people recognized me for and the only thing that I was actually good in. But after being traumatized by that match last year, I am unable to believe in myself again. I don't ever want to have that feeling again, its like your body is not yours and every action I execute is totally wrong. My arms are in an awkward position and I felt so frustrated at myself. I was actually trembling with fear every second and this never happened before.Oh the other hand, I miss being on court..all the excitement, fear and the victory.....TPJC really wrecked my life. Once again, I shall say it. I HATE TPJC'S SPORTS CULTURE.I don't actually hate that school, it just happened to be the place where all my bad memories and experiences gather. I can't seem to smile when I see that school.I have been playing table tennis since I was in P2..a long enough relationship. I think it's time for me to let it go. Make a clean cut once and for all.
It kinda hurts, cause I still have my pride as a player.
But it is time to let that pride go.
