Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Melancholy.
I feel strangely depressed. My left eye is hurting, I am hungry.
I need music to distract myself away from my own thoughts.
Why am I so hesitant?
Why does it feel so hard to continue?
What was that strange feeling I felt just now? My body was heating up and my chest feels tight. I don't understand my own emotions.
Why did I feel like crying?
For what did I cry for??
Perplexing shit. I feel like smashing something.
I gave my best to everyone around me but nobody gave their best to me.
How come nobody can assure me like how I assure them. I find loyalty but not trust.
Maybe I am just afraid that nobody cares about me. So I act like a dog, trying to make everyone happy by wagging my tail.
But in the end, everyone I care about cares for someone else.
