Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sometimes I have this weird thought. My brother should not have existed.Having a younger brother at home makes me irritated. He showed me the pathetic existence of men and makes me lose faith in them.I always wondered why I refused to get into a relationship and the reason may be my brother. With his actions and thoughts, I have came to this conclusion that men cannot be relied on. I know I am just making a general comment. I know for a fact that not all guys are like that although I do know one fact- guys have their bodily needs. Which is more than enough to disgust me. Maybe I am just being biased but I am trying hard to accept them the way they are. I try to overlook all the flaws just like how women have their own irritating attitudes. Some women can really be a pain in the ass.I figured the only way to salvage my own crazy psychological thoughts is to compensate and balance the pros and cons of men and women. I will try my hardest to be unbiased in my judgment.I hope one day someone will come along and convince me, but I know I have to first allow myself to be convinced.And I have to reinstate my stand- although my brother is a pathetic weak-willed type of guy, he is not evil or anything terrible. He just happens to be really lacking in EQ and have a prehistoric vocabulary which makes his every comment shallow and lacking in depth. Sometimes he acts like a pathological lier but that is still currently unproven, yet.SL being emotional, psychological..yes, she is reading a Murakami book again.And yes, writing down what you think helps you better understand yourself and your problems. Thank you Mr. Murakami.Off to another topic:Recently, I have realised that competing with others is a painful process. By competing with others, you tend to attract competition too. The best solution is to not care about what others are doing or how well/poor they fared. Set your own targets and achieve them, by reaching your own targets you are walking on steps you have created yourself. Everyone out there is competing by stepping over others- the dog eat dog world. They are trying so ridiculously hard to climb higher by stepping on other's failures. This is the sick but inevitable truth, like how you would be subconsciously happy when you know that you have scored higher than others, cause you know that you are higher up and you have succeeded in 'steeping' over them. Or how people around you would say you have cheated or giving you snide comments when you scored higher, they are actually trying to pull you down in an attempt to step over your head.Anyway, if you are perceived to be dumb, success will not convince others. Those who have regarded you as inferior will not be impressed by what you have achieved. They will not fully acknowledge your hard work and will instead convince themselves that it was due to something hard to be explained, something like luck.It is human nature to disregard others' success, because we are implanted with jealousy. But not trying to hide your jealousy is just totally intolerable. By disregarding others' success straight in their face is just brainless nutter which you have subconsciously acted out. A case of harboring too much of such thoughts makes every action and words said come naturally, without even yourself noticing it.
There is actually a sick loophole, or a human nature called pity. When you are definitely worse off, like being handicapped or growing up in a bad environment and you happen to be really successful, EVERYONE will be impressed no matter how mentally wired they are. So the bottom line is, if you want to be successful, be soooo successful that it glares their eyes. Or be so pathetic that people will pity you and hope for your success.My hands are cold from typing too fast, a signal to stop blogging.Oh and if you are reading this brother, please do not feel depressed after reading. Any comments can be inquired from me directly. (I doubt he will even read my blog but just in case.)
