Been doing what I've done since graduation day for the weekend. Every time that I do this I feel a sense of dread, that I'm back to the rat race. Will I find a nice place to grow my roots? 3 years in IBM has taught me a lot of things. I wanted to retire at that place but it seems like that a pretty naive thought. I feel so childish at my own simple dreams. Thinking that if I work with my heart and treat everyone with respect, I will get the same respect in return. I'm feeling sad but life goes on and I must continue the lonely road. Self appraisal is very low now, will need a lot of determination to strengthen my thoughts. Other people may say that it's easy isn't it, if you don't like it you just jump ship right? But it's not that easy for me as I have no particular work that I want to do. Especially not so in my degree area. It makes me think back again, that I should have thought more about my future when studying. Although I knew what I wanted in the past, I did not have the strength to pursue it. It makes me afraid...that there may be nothing left in life for me. The gods have given up on me. Or that I have given up on myself? I hope not.
Sunday, July 05, 2015
Getting pretty excited for the HK trip coming soon. Hopefully I can clear up all the pending work before I go. However, I'm sure there are bound to be some hiccups when I come back. Why must there be so many new start ups when I'm going on a trip? It must be a form of challenge from the Gods. Having some trouble typing as my fingers hurts. Must be from playing too much Tsum Tsum + typing too fast at work. Been thinking of some things these days. I think it's time for me to be diligent. I still hold on to that dream and would like to see for it to come true one day. I will continue the fight and I will grow stronger!
