There are times where you just can't pick yourself up. And with yourself and others saying things like, tomorrow will be a better day. Remain positive and all will be well. There are days like this. No one is happy everyday. It is ok to feel like this once in a while.

But today was especially bad. I have not really felt like that for a long time. The worst is that I cannot even attribute it to a single cause. I can only speculate, it could be this or that. 

I really feel like screaming out loud.

There should be no reason I should be sad. There is none. Yet, there is also no reason that I should be happy about. Is there?

Have I only been suppressing this sadness. And all that I am now is just a suppression of who I really is. I really do feel bad.

I hope the tears can bring out the sadness in me. These sadness that does not have a meaning or reason.

I am looking forward to having energy filled days, with confidence and a heart that is open for all.

If the emptiness today can be traded for weeks and months of happiness, then I am willing to let it engulf me. Let me die and wake up to a new and better me.