Seems today is a very special day. 10 Oct 2026 = 10.10 and the sum of 2026 is = 10.

I don't know how special it is but since it is special I shall make a blog post to remember it.

Life has been ok so far. Felt a little emo these days, especially after my bday. Don't everyone feel that way sometimes? Like you have aged a year and looking back, I don't see that I have done anything that was worth to be proud of. That part makes me a little sad but I don't get hung up by it. I move on and try my best again until my next bday. No time to be sad.

I am going to have a mini birthday celebration this coming Monday. My very nice "brother" Joe has helped to gather everyone to come and have a Chinese dinner with me. It is funny how he is really becoming like my real brother. 

Falling...I feel that I have fallen this time. So it happens every 10 years? I was hurt 10 years ago, will I be hurt again this time? I wonder when will it be my time to connect. It is so bitter sweet. Why does it have to be like this. Why can't people be honest for my sake. We all want everyone to be honest to us but we don't want to be honest to others. This is why everything human becomes complicated. If only we are more honest with ourselves and stop hiding. When did we become so distrusting of others. Why are we so afraid of being hurt.

Maybe 10.10.10 power can be used to manifest my wants and wishes. I NEED TO MANIFEST THIS TO HAPPEN. 

MANIFEST.MANIFEST.MANIFEST

Been so busy in Sep that I didn't even log one post. Happy Birthday to me!

I came over to Japan when I was 27 and now I am 37. How time flies. I guess there is some significance to this milestone in some ways. Today I feel strangely motivated and yet strangely void of certain emotions. I think I know why, I am expecting to receive some extra "love" this time but of course it is kind of in my own imagination.

It's nice that my friends have sent me birthday messages. I always liked it even when I don't do much of the sending to others. Why do I still have some form of expectation when I know that it means nothing much in the first place.

I went to work, went for my favorite massage and then just came straight home. A pretty normal day, I wanted to spend it with friends but I don't really know which set of friends I wanted to hang out with so I chose to be with myself again this year.

I didn't even remember to buy a cake. I shall make do with the half price sponge cake I bought from Lawson. It is not a special day, it is a special month. So I will make my everyday special this month. It shall be my own gift to myself.

Ooo I was so busy in July. I felt so exhausted, I put in so many trainings and competitions. It is funny how the more I train, the worse I get. Or is that the case for most people? I feel like in the temporary sense of things, the things that we want never goes our way. It could be just the natural setting of the world, telling us to continue to work hard and that things are never that easy. 

The game needs to be challenging to be interesting.

Happy Aug, I was feeling exhausted in body and was mentally down as well. A new month is just what I need. New month, new hope. Starting the month with Chiikawa Movie. I already watched it with another friend but I will watch it again today. CHIIKAWA POWER! I hope they still have the little entry blind pack.

There is Obon in 2nd week of Aug, can't wait to take a good rest. Adjust my body and mind.

Oh yes and yesterday I was late to work. I woke last and didn't even hear the alarm. It was alarming. Not sure if my phone did not ring or that I really was so deep in sleep. In any case, I will head over to Daiso to check out some clocks today.

Happy month everyone. 

Work hard, play hard! 

I need to get my shit together. This week I was feeling so exhausted and have been sleeping at weird hours. Like today/yesterday, I fell asleep at 9pm and woke at 1am feeling so awake. And so now I am still up and feeling so awake I wonder how I will be able to survive the whole day. 

I stopped going for my table tennis practice this week as I was just feeling so exhausted. Just want to sleep. I wonder what is going on.

There are so many chores that I need to clear, it is piling up. I wonder when will the chores end. Maybe life is just here to clear chores. Like weekly mini quests that keeps popping up for you to clear it. You can ignore it, but then you have to carry on with the main quest and that is something that most of us are trying to avoid. We don't ever want a game we love to end.

I just ate "breakfast". One cup of big Shin Shin ramen. I wonder what good that will do to me. I find that mostly I am eating just for the sake of eating. I wasn't even that hungry.

Need to get my shit together. I wonder how people get their shit together so nicely. I guess we all struggle at times, just reduced downtime. 

I need to, have to, want to get my shit together fast and nice.

Glorious June. It is crazy how fast time flies. I am already 6 months into my new job. So far so good, I feel like it is a job that will pace my life and that the important thing is what I do after work rather than what I do in the work that counts. 

Recently keyboards are getting so cheap due to influx from China brands. I am so tempted to buy some but I already have too many. I need to sell some to get some.

My house is cluttered with items that I need to get rid of. Sometimes I wonder if the clutter is affecting my 'energy'. 

I am feeling hungry, being on a diet is really hard. Kind of just want to head to LOPIA and get a Pizza instead. It is the start of "Summer" and there are many places selling food for discounted prices. I ate donuts yesterday cause it was half price. What did I eat yesterday, let me think.

Food I ate yesterday: sweet potato, 2 donuts, one bottle of plum soda, one packet of lettuce, one box of some fish sauce dish, one packet of grilled chicken

How do the people in Japan keep so thin? Everyone is so slim! 

Recently I feel like I am always being teased. I blame the gods but I know it is probably myself that is teasing myself. Why???? Stopppppp XD

It is the start of Golden Week in Japan. I am feeling so excited for the days ahead. I packed it with exercise and CHORES clearing. There are so many things that I wanted to do but didn't have the time nor energy to clear them. I MUST CLEAR THEM.

There are soooo many things to do, I can't wait!!!

I am getting super irritated these days. Mostly due to the pollen affecting my system and my sleep per night is reduced in hours and quality. 

Really really really hate this pollen season. It is so unbearable. I have to freaking rely on medications daily to get through the day. And it does not help when I was performing poorly just now in my table tennis competition.

This is so sickening. I feel that things are not smooth these days. It all started when the frame broke. When the frame broke, something in me broke too.

It feels like another tough year again. Why is it so hard.

So annoying so annoying so annoying so annoying